Le No Makeup Look

As this New York Time's article says, chic French women believe that "too much makeup makes a woman seem older, or even worse, as if she makes a living walking the streets...that it is also the mark of the desperate housewife type who tries too hard...And when you use too much makeup, it means you are hiding from yourself."

Although I am proud to be American, we can learn a lot from the French in terms of fashion and beauty.

I think that there is beauty in every person. I find that American and Asian women wear way too much makeup. Makeup is meant to enhance one's beauty, not change it drastically. I know women who contour their cheeks with blush or bronzer to make it look thinner. Unless you are incredibly pale, blush looks terrible, and no one is being fooled by the contouring, but rather it looks fake. I have even heard some of my Asian female acquaintances say they use eyeshadow and eyeliner to make their eyes look bigger, rounder and more western. It was very surprising because I believe that there is beauty in every culture, and that different ethic features are interesting. Makeup is meant to highlight one's features, not change it.

Some women put on so much makeup daily that it looks like a mask or as if they are going to a photo studio or wedding daily. I also see bright eye-shadows, bright blushes and lipsticks that seem theatrical, even a bit clownish. I think this is because many of us want to hide our true selves from the world, being afraid that we are not enough nor that we meet the standard of pop culture. This is why I avoid most pop beauty and fashion magazines. They want to covertly tell people how one should dress or look, rather than celebrating the beauty and uniqueness in each of us. Sadly, it is done just for marketing purposes and to mostly make money for the companies.

The French idea of the no-makeup look or minimal makeup is a great idea. They tend to highlight one feature in natural colors and leave the rest of the face pale. It allows their natural beauty to shine through.


French women are also a lot less likely than Americans to have cosmetic surgery and injections to make them appear less flawess or younger. I think that it is wonderful that the French celebrate natural female beauty, even as one ages. Frankly, too much makeup not only looks distasteful and as if one is trying too hard, but many makeup products are bad for the skin. Most men I know don't like the fake made up look either. Those who seem attracted to it at first are often disappointed to find that a women is wearing a mask of her beauty and is not as she really looks when the makeup comes off.

Wearing less makeup also saves so much time, and it is quite freeing to celebrate not having to hide behind it with more than 2 products every time you venture out. Personally, I only wear powder to offset shine or blemishes and mascara or eyeshadow on a regular basis. If I am going to an event, especially when photographs will be taken, I will add concealer, eyeliner on my top eyelid only and tinted lipgloss. Even so, the colors and application is very minimal and less than 10 minutes. My daily routine literally takes less than 2 minutes. While I never wore more than 2 products at a time on a regular basis, I didn't always wear natural makeup, as I wore pale foundation, thickly lined eyes and red lipstick in my goth stage before it became popular. However, I realized as I got older that it was just too much and it just makes one look haggard and tired. I also wanted to challenge myself to show the world fearlessly who I am without makeup. It felt a little strange at first, but as I ventured out with barely any makeup, I felt so much freer and confident to be myself. 

So ladies, today, free yourself a little and go out with one less makeup product or better yet, go bare faced. Doing makeup more than a few minutes a day is such a waste of time, time which you could be doing so much more and spending your money or more valuable things than makeup.

DIY Victorian Curtains - Burgundy, Antique White

For the living room, I made this burgundy/dark red curtain out of silk with a lace valance. My couch is also a deep burgundy color, and all my kitchen items are either black or crimson red, so the color ties in well with the rest of the apartment as well.

It is not too difficult to make this curtain. I used 3 yards of burgundy silk, measured my windows and cut to the length and width I wanted. To have the nice folded effect, cut the curtain width to 1 and a half times the actual width of the window.

Then sew up the sides and bottom edges of the curtain.You will also need to sew a 3 inch line under the top to allow to put in a curtain rod. To add the valance, line up the lace to the top of the curtain, and sew first at the top, then at the line just made for the curtain rod. The lace of the valance can be finished or unfinished. I finished the sides and top with a hem, and left the bottoms free edged.

For the bedroom, my husband desired a calming effect, so I decided to a similar style curtain in antique white to have a more romantic goth feel. It seems a little too peaceful (boring) for my taste, so I am going to add a dark or embroidered overlay in the future. However, until I have time and money for another trip to the fabric store, this will have to do.

The bedroom curtains are made in a similar method as the living room curtains, but I choose a crushed satin in antique white and antique white lace. I also decided to add the lace valance a few inches from the top of the crushed satin, so a litle sunlight can come in as the room has the least light coming in, and I hate blasting tons of lights, which does a number on my light bill as well as the environment.

The Thin Line between Crafting and Hoarding Fabric & Notions

Today I am de-cluttering my trim and fabric stash, which amounts to two large plastic bins. I know it is a whole lot, and I admit that I have a hoarding problem with fabric. De-cluttering the bins is turning out to be a laborious task as most of my clutter has been fabric I have saved from items for which I did not like the style and tons of lace. I have lots of pieces of fabrics that can be added to items, but cannot make a whole skirt or top. I also have a huge stash of white lace because I figured I can add them as trim to my black clothing. However, whenever I wear something black with a white trim, it looks lolita goth, which I find cute, but which is not really my style. Larger white lace trims even make me feel like I look like a maid or waitress. I have only trimmed my clothing with black or red lace. 

My mom sews a lot, and I have decided to give her most of my silk stash and also some lace. She said she would take the silk as silk is costly, but I am not sure if she will take the lace.  In any case, when you are giving away things to people that you thought were useful, it gives perspective as I realize that a lot of the lace and fabric are too small for her to make something with.  I also do not want to give her things she cannot use as she tends to hoard fabric also, although she sews a lot more than I do. Since I have not used them in 1 to 2 years, I am no longer kidding myself and realize that I probably won't use them in the future, especially since my time is limited now. So, I have decided to just throw them out because they cannot be donated or given away. It feels wasteful because I know people have to buy lace and fabric, but these little pieces are just not useful. I know no one who would buy little scraps like this.

Well, humble lesson learned...instead of cutting out lace from shirts and dresses to feel like I am not being wasteful by donating or throwing away the item, I just wasted time and even prevented another person from being able to purchase it and use it from the thrift store. 

For those crafters and sewers out there, I do hope you learn from my less and do not save fabric or trim unless you have a specific purpose in mind for it, not a potential project that does not already exist in some way.  

Well, back to the de-cluttering. I hope to be left with half of a bin when I am done donating items to my mom and throwing things away. After that, I am going to do projects with the fabric pieces in less than a month. Otherwise, all the stash is going, except my black and red lace trims and corset which I add to new clothing on an ongoing basis, as I can't afford the more pricey goth items in gothic clothing stores, and because I like the creative outlet of sewing and making unique things.

Re-Inspired by a Storm and Isolation

There's a category 1 hurricane occurring in New York, and while I don't want people's homes to be flooded, and I have been checking up on my loved ones, I'm actually loving the storm. The wind is howling as you can hear in the above video that I filmed from my window. The trees having been swaying a bit dangerously as the wind is blowing at 90 mph. I'm barely moving the camera. The sky has been dark and dreary all day. No one is outside, and cars rarely pass by. Yet, I honestly love it. I have always enjoyed the rain when I am indoors. I love to see it on the wet leaves on the trees and on the pavement, which is why autumn has always been my favorite season. I know its odd to like storms and dreary weather, but it is quite peaceful, it mirrors my mood at times, and it reminds me that I'm human and how fragile, yet precious is life.

I haven't been quite productive, but I've enjoyed this lazy day of watching missed re-runs of The Vampire Diaries and True Blood.

I do hope to get some housework done after one more episode as I just returned from a trip from San Antonio with my husband. Ironically, we left sunny weather, with the temperatures at approximately 88 degrees. My husband had a work assignment, and it was the first time I had ever left my home or New York for more than a week and a half. I was there for 3 weeks, and it was so freeing being away from all the clutter in my apartment. As I mentioned in some of my recent posts, I've been trying to Ho back to a minimalist lifestyle because I find that whenever I have more than I need and use, I get very unfocused, and it brings on bouts of moderate depression. However, I have been struggling with letting things go because I am only working 8 - 10 hours a week now, and I felt like I was wasting and loosing money by donating or discarding my items.

However, this trip was quite an eye opener on how badly my possessions were draining my energy. Since my husband was working, we only went out on weekends. During the week, I was so focused and my mind more free that I've been for years now that I was able to get some work and reading done. Usually, I am so immobilized by all my possessions that I just surf the web or watch videos because I can focus due to the visual distraction of things that need to be organized and cleaned. Now, I'm not a hoarder as you see on A&E, but I do tend to compulsively shop when I am in a down mood. I have moderate OCD, and am a very visual person, so a cluttered house drives me nuts, but with so many things brought in by my shopping, I can't think, and feel overwhelmed with where to start decluttering. This habit started slowly in a few years ago, bug got very bad. I've gone from moving out with a large duffle bag and books, then moving from my second apartment in 2008 with just 3 suitcases comprising of all my possessions (clothing, books, shoes, bags) to 4 three by two feet closets of clothing hanging in those closets, 1 closet of shoes and bags, and 1 bin of fabric and trim. My books are contained to just a very small bookshelf because I mostly purchase eBooks now. In 2009, I only had 113 items of clothing. So, in three years my OCD and depression has made me hit rock bottom. I saw a therapist, but she did psychoanalysis, which was not helpful because I already knew my issue was depression and mild OCD. I am still looking for a cognitive behavioral therapist. When I was away Fromm home for ten three weeks, I did have some obsessive thoughts and some dark moments but I was able to deal with it by self talk and by doing my work, do they passed. However, when I'm home I'm in such an overwhelmed state that I don't have the energy to employ coping strategies.

So, I've decided to not even think about my possessions and whether I need it in the far future, I've decided only to keep only items I wore this year or that I intend to wear in the next 3 winter months. For instance, I wear mostly black, but I have quite a number of red tops, skirts and dresses just because color red is my favorite color in addition to black. I'm putting these in the donation bag without a thought of future use.

The past is the past, and we cannot hold on to it or the money or opportunities list. Nor can we plan for the future in detail, but rather just to a vague extent. My trip gave me the impetus to go back to a mknslist lifestyle. I will post more on my progress, and I hope that it helps you as well. Anyone with OCD, depression or who is a minimalist who has advice if comments to share, I welcome and appreciate them.

Thanks for reading.

Alleviating Depression - Focus on What You Enjoy & True Friends

For those who are in a down mood or struggle from depression, I found it more helpful to learn about how to be happier rather that to learn more about depression. I have read quite a bit of literature on depression, suffering from ongoing moderate depression (dysthymia) myself. There are some days that no self talk makes me better, and I try to get through it by doing things that I enjoy (the brilliant advice of my husband), such as reading some literature, writing a poem or story, sewing or seeing a friend.  What you enjoy may vary, of course. On days that I am not at my lowest, if I feel a little drained, I try to focus on things that make me less sad. While, I will never be as  happy as the average person and while I know that many with major depression need both medication and therapy from a professional, there are things we can do on a regular basis to ease the dark feelings. I have accomplished some of my best creative projects in those dark moods, so I do not hate them and I embrace the dark and light sides of life in so many ways, so I have accepted that depression is something I may struggle with my whole life as I have struggled with it for over 10 years now. However, I am slowly coming to a place of power, where I deal with it, and do not let it debilitate me.

On this note, here is a great video by Nobel laureate, Daniel Kahneman, on the subject of happiness that you may find useful.  

One thing that is very important in my own experience if you have depression is to surround yourself with people who are positive and caring. I used to have a good number of friends, but some of them were very critical, competitive and negative. I now have just a few close friends and I am much happier after seeing them once a month, than when I saw my many friends a few times a week.

Kahneman also found that based on a survey of 600,000 Americans that happiness corresponds to if you  "spend time with people you like". He said: “Below 60,000 dollars a year, people are unhappy, and they get progressively unhappier the poorer they get. Above that, we get an absolutely flat line. I mean I’ve rarely seen lines so flat."

 

DIY Skinny Jeans: Upcycle Alteration from Bootcut, Wide leg

Project: Alter Bootcut, Wide leg or Flared Jeans/Pants into Skinny or Slim fit Straight Leg
Difficulty Level: Easy
Time: 20 - 40 minutes


Ever had or saw a sale on a pair of jeans or pants that fit great on the hips or seat (the hardest place to find a good fit for a woman or even a guy who likes fitted jeans), but disliked the fit of the legs? Perhaps you have jeans in your closet that you never wear because the legs are too wide. No need to send them to the landfill. Sometimes donation doesn't go directly to those who need it, but to organizations that sell the items and profit. Or maybe, like myself, you are on a budget.

Here's a 20-30 minute tutorial on how to alter them to make them skinny or straight leg.

Pre-altered jeans:

Step One:

Turn the jeans inside out and mark with chalk. I usually don't measure and just average as I have been sewing for 7 years, but if you are new or unsure, make sure you follow this step.  Since I do not measure, I made a rough estimation with the chalk marks, but if you are new, draw a straighter line with the help of a ruler.

I drew two lines to show how to alter to skinny jeans or straight leg. Straight legs are also slim fitting, but they do not taper at the ankle. Notice also that I drew the line from a few inches above the knee to the bottom of the pants.  This is because it is already fitted in the thigh area. If your jeans or pants are loose in the thigh area, you would have to extend the line upwards to that region.


Step 2:

After you mark the jean, sew a straight stitch (the most basic stitch, which looks like a vertical line on the sewing machine) like below.

Step 3

Then, try on the pants. If if they fit well, then sew a second straight stitch over the first one. Use a damp towel and rub off the chalk. If the legs are too loose, sew inside the line or mark the line more towards the inside and sew it.

Step 4 

After you have sewn your second stitch to reinforce the first one, then cut out the excess fabric, leaving 1/2 to 1 cm of fabric from the stitch.  Then, sew a serging stitch or if you are lucky enough to own a serger.

[Caveat: A serger is a separate machine that costs up to $700, which I cannot afford in addition to my Singer automatic sewing machine which cost $500. My first 2 sewing machines were Brother brand, and they were about $250 each, but there were always problems with the thread tension and other things, so it was worth spending more to get the Singer. I have not had any problems with it to date. It has automatic threading and tread tension.]

After you sew the serged stitch, cut off any excess or hanging threads.

Below is the stitch I use on the machine as well as the actual stitch on the pant. The serged stitch not only makes the pant alteration look neater and more professional, but it also prevents fraying of the cloth and an additional reinforced stitch.

Here is the final product turned right side up:

Here I am wearing the jeans. The bottom appears ruched because I kept them a few inches long to fall over my boots. I may end up altering them to a more skinny tapered look to wear with high boots, but this current alteration is very versatile. I don't wear shoes in my home, so I am not wearing them here.

Letting go of Negativity & Criticism for Growth

I have been in a bit of a rut the last few weeks, and I cannot focus on work or studying. This is difficult for me as I work from home and study at home. My work does not pay very well, and is based on an hourly rate, so distractions and not being able to focus for hours means a loss in my pay. As for the studying, I have to take 2 GRE exams (general and subject) in the next few months, so I really do not have the luxury of loosing time.

Yet, when at home, I get distracted with reorganizing my possessions, cleaning the house, and going on the internet for hours. There were many times in my life when my focus was superb. I have been thinking about those times, and what facilitated that focus. I am an HSP (highly sensitive person), so I am affected by excessive sensory stimulation. However, since I do not have to deal with the stress of a micromanaging or domineering boss as before, my environment in terms of people is not the issue. However, I have worked out of a hotel for a few days every few weeks when visiting my husband when he is away for work, and my focus has been a lot better. I do get sidetracked and watch the history channel at times as I do not have cable at home, but overall, I am not as distracted and pull myself back after wasting time for a certain interval.

Looking back at my entire life and at the times when I was able to focus and also reflecting on why I am able to focus better away from home, I realize that my possessions and worrying about the well being of others seriously drain my energy. There is such a thing as doing too much of both. This morning, in the hotel, I started thinking about the several bins of clothing, shoes and bags that I have to go through as I am trying to weed out my clothing to have a more minimalist inventory. It brought me down so much that I unconsciously started surfing the web for a few hours to not think about it. Yesterday, I began to think about how needy some people in my life are for self assurance and for me to pick them up. This also weighed down on me and drained my energy as I realized after years of positive talk to them, only a person can change their own happiness, and it is selfish to ask others to do that. Although I am a caring person, I am also an INTJ, and I show care and love in different ways. However, what makes it hard to show care to these people as they have been very critical of me as a person, and also of me not showing enough even when I am trying. So, being that they are somewhat negative people and with their past history of being critical, I often feel guilty and drained when thinking about or trying to show care for them. This has affected my focus and my self esteem over the years because I feel that no matter what I do, it is not enough for them, and they do not accept me as I am.

I am certainly not an unfeeling person, and show care to my husband and 4 close friends often enough, but these people are positive or at least show me care in return. Very lopsided or one sided relationships where one is doing most of the giving or when demands are placed upon one who is not of the ability to fulfill them are draining and bad for the psyche. So, despite my guilty feelings, I have decided to limit contact with those people until I am at a healthier place psychologically to do so. I have spent my whole life in guilt in wanting to take care of myself first and have given a lot of my time and care that I did not have to extra to give due to it. However, after seeing a psychologist who noticed this pattern, and who told me that I had a right to care for myself too, I am trying to become healthier and raise my self esteem that has been broken directly and indirectly by negative people and many of emotional and verbal abuse.

When we are able to let go of the pain of the past, and build our self esteem and ourselves again, then we will be able to give. However, we cannot cover the pain with a false sheet of trying to be a good person and being a martyr for those we love. Otherwise, it only builds resentment that resurfaces later and actually taints the love or care that we feel for others. I am a private person, so I don't reveal things about myself such as I have above to most people. However, I do hope that others who have gone through verbal and emotional abuse that has affected their self esteem and sense of self worth would be brave enough to love themselves first before trying to love others.