Self-Actualization: Be the Best You

For the last few years of my life, I have contemplated what truly makes one happy. I personally have felt unsatisfied within myself, so I turned to different things to explore self fulfillment. I explored religion and spirituality, reading, meditating and following basic rituals of Buddhism and Hinduism. In my early 20s, I even followed Christianity for 2 years. However, although I believe that having a spiritual center is great, organized religion was too restrictive for me. I now just do yoga, and take daily walks in nature, and that gives me sufficient peace and connection to the universe.

I thought that perhaps helping others would work so I obtain a job helping the public, but although that is a wonderful thing to do, in itself, it is not fulfilling, especially if you are more introverted and like working alone, like myself. I thought that going to grad school to obtain the status of PhD would make me feel better and more fulfilled. So, I took post graduate classes, but they were in a field that I simply had a hobby in, and I soon found out that there were other areas of the field that I did not like enough.

All of these endeavors were idealistic and in my mind, but the answer to self-fulfillment was with me along. It was in the choices that I naturally gravitated towards before I started acknowledging the pressure of society. Now, functioning in society is a wonderful for as the poet, John Donne, said "No man is an Island." However, when we silence our voice by listening to the voice of others, then we loose ourselves. Many of the people giving us opinions may mean well, and care about us, but sometimes people project their own interests and views onto us, or may not truly know us inside.

Thinking about self-fulfillment, I came across Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs a few years ago. While I knew it in theory, I never really paid attention to it and applied it to my own life. However, slowly I began to do so a year ago, and it has led me to truly understand that the purpose in life or well being is attained by simply best you that you can possibly be. I suppose I had to go through some of the other stages on Maslow's Heircharchy of Needs before I was able to embrace and want to pursue self-actualization in my life.

Here is a wonderful article from about.com that describes what self-actualization is very well.

What Is Self-Actualization?

By Kendra Cherry, About.com Guide

Abraham Maslow proposed a hierarchy of needs that represented various needs that motivate human behavior. The hierarchy is often displayed as a pyramid, with lowest levels representing basic needs and more complex needs located at the top of the pyramid.

At the peak of this hierarchy is self-actualization. The hierarchy suggests that when the other needs at the base of the pyramid have been met, the individual can then focus their attention on this pinnacle need. Self-actualization is described as "…the desire for self-fulfillment, namely, to the tendency for him to become actualized in what he is potentially."

What exactly is self-actualization? Located at the peak of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy, he described this high-level need in the following way:

"What a man can be, he must be. This need we may call self-actualization…It refers to the desire for self-fulfillment, namely, to the tendency for him to become actualized in what he is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming."¹

While Maslow’s theory is generally portrayed as a fairly rigid hierarchy, Maslow noted that the order in which these needs are fulfilled does not always follow this standard progression.¹ For example, he notes that for some individuals, the need for self-esteem is more important than the need for love. For others, the need for creative fulfillment may supersede even the most basic needs.

Characteristics of Self-Actualized People

In addition to describing what is meant by self-actualization in his theory, Maslow also identified some of the key characteristics of self-actualized people:

• Acceptance and Realism: Self-actualized people have realistic perceptions of themselves, others and the world around them.
• Problem-centering: Self-actualized individuals are concerned with solving problems outside of themselves, including helping others and finding solutions to problems in the external world. These people are often motivated by a sense of personal responsibility and ethics.
• Spontaneity: Self-actualized people are spontaneous in their internal thoughts and outward behavior. While they can conform to rules and social expectations, they also tend to be open and unconventional.
• Autonomy and Solitude: Another characteristics of self-actualized people is the need for independence and privacy. While they enjoy the company of others, these individuals need time to focus on developing their own individual potential.
• Continued Freshness of Appreciation: Self-actualized people tend to view the world with a continual sense of appreciation, wonder and awe. Even simple experiences continue to be a source of inspiration and pleasure.
• Peak Experiences: Individuals who are self-actualized often have what Maslow termed peak experiences, or moments of intense joy, wonder, awe and ecstasy. After these experiences, people feel inspired, strengthened, renewed or transformed.³

Self-Acceptance and Democratic World View
Self-actualized people tend to accept themselves and others as they are. They tend to lack inhibition and are able to enjoy themselves and their lives free of guilt. Other people are treated the same regardless of background, current status or other socio-economic and cultural factors.
 
Realistic
Another major characteristic of self-actualized people is a sense of realism. Rather than being fearful of things that are different or unknown, the self-actualized individual is able to view things logically and rationally.

Problem-Centered
Self-actualized individuals are often motivated by a strong sense of personal ethics and responsibility. They enjoy solving real-world problems and are often concerned with helping other people improve their own lives.
 
Peak Experiences
Self-actualization is also characterized by having frequent peak experiences. What exactly is a peak experience? According to Maslow, these "Feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision, the feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before, the feeling of ecstasy and wonder and awe, the loss of placement in time and space with, finally, the conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences."

Autonomy
The self-actualized individual does not conform to other people's ideas of happiness or contentment. This original perspective allows the individual to live in the moment and appreciate the beauty of each experience.
 
Solitude and Privacy
Self-actualized individuals value their privacy and enjoy solitude. While they also love the company of others, taking time to themselves is essential for personal discovery and cultivating individual potential.

Philosophical Sense of Humor
Self-actualized individuals generally have a thoughtful sense of humor. They are able to enjoy the humor in situations and laugh at themselves, but they do not ridicule or make fun at the expense of another person's feelings.
 
Spontaneity
Another characteristic of self-actualized people is a tendency to be open, unconventional and spontaneous. While these people are able to follow generally accepted social expectations, they do not feel confined by these norms in their thoughts or behaviors.

Enjoy the Journey
While self-actualized people have concrete goals, they do not see things as simply a means to an end. The journey toward achieving a goal is just as important and enjoyable as actually accomplishing the goal.