Many women and even men look at their wardrobe when they have to go out, and are baffled. They utter that they have nothing to wear when clearly their wardrobes may be bursting open. The problem is that when you have too much of what does not match you or your lifestyle, getting dressed becomes a big stress. Often times, we are living in the past, trying to hang on desperately to youth or memories and not looking at what our lives are at the present and our goals for the future.
There is a common and wise advice that you should always dress for where you want to be or for the position you want in the future. Now, this is not to say that you need to wear a full suit if the head boss in your company wears one. However, you should dress professionally if that is the dress code of those in management. I have seen many women in my position dress like those less than their position or not even work appropriate, such as overly tight clothing or wild prints. I have genuinely appreciate the dress of some in lesser positions than me as they are very trendy and stylish, and I would wear similar outfits if I was going out on the weekend. However, for the office, since I met with clients and attorneys, I dressed very professionally.
I have a very professional work wardrobe that consists of 5 full pantsuits, 3 skirt suits, and 10 blazers that can be mixed and matched with pants, and 7 Chanel-styled blazers that can be match with work skirts and dresses. I have 12 pairs of slacks, 5 business skirts, 3 silk summer skirts, and 5 shift/sheath dresses. All the items are in black, grey, navy or pinstripe. This may seem utterly boring, but I wear silk/silky shirts and flowing blouses in black, ivory, red and royal blue under to create an elegant and more feminine look. To make the outfits not look too bland, I will wear earrings and necklaces. I also have several watches as I am a big fan of them, although I ironically need better time management at times.
Now, I am not saying that I have it all figured out as I am writing this post as my own wardrobe needs serious de-cluttering, of which I'm in the process. However, I wanted to share some of my realizations as I am going through my wardrobe. My professional wardrobe is very streamlined, but I have a lot of vagrant pieces that seem out of place and that I have insisted to myself is my casual wear. The truth is though that I go out with friends only once or twice a month, and I do not need an entire closet full of clothing to do so.
In de-cluttering, it is very important to asses your goals and daily activities, and proportion your wardrobe to that. For instance, if you work, you spend or intend to spend (for those of us in the job hunting phase), 70% of your days of the week at work, so it only makes sense that 70% of your wardrobe be professional. Your can allocate the other 25% to casual wear and another 5% for home wear or workout clothing. For very formal wear, it might be a good idea to have 3 outfits per occasion category, such as 3 cocktail dresses and 3 ballgowns. If you work from home or are a stay at home mom or housewife, you may choose to have 70% casual for home and running errands and 25% business casual for going out, meeting clients or parent teacher nights.
I personally have 50% casual wear and 50% professional wear, although I worked and intend to work 5 days a week or 70% of my week. As a result, I waste a lot of time looking for things, matching and getting dressed, and don't have room in my 2 closets and 1 dresser anymore. I need to dwindle down my casual wear to at least one third the amount.
I have held on to my casual wear because most of my close friends are in industries where their dress code is a lot more casual than mine. I have a casual wardrobe because I believe I would feel place wearing slack and blouses to hang out when they are wearing jeans and tshirts. However, this did not bother me in my early and mid twenties because during that time I wore my slacks to hang out with my friends with a simple blouse or once in a while, I would wear jeans with my work button down blouses. I have gone out of that semi casual/business style that felt very me in the last few years, and I have purchased a casual wardrobe to fit in more to my life two years ago when I took graduate classes and now as I am not currently employed. However, now that I am looking for work again, and a few times when I have work more business like wear to go out with my husband, I realize again that a business casual looks feels more of who I am. It no longer makes sense to me to have 3 separate wardrobes: formal business, business casual and extremely casual.
It is true that the world judges us by what we wears, so I do think it is important to dress professionally if that is the dress code of your firm and if you meet with clients or management in your firm because a professional image lends to your credibility. However, when it comes to what we wear for our leisure, it should be what we feel comfortable and ourselves in, and not for society, loved ones or friends. My husband likes to dress casual most of the time, and when we first me, it may have sometimes seemed that we don't match. However, it didn't matter to me how he dressed as he dressed appropriately if we were going somewhere special, and he always looked neat and clean, even in casual clothing. This is the same acceptance that others should have of us. I have had a friend in the past harp on me for not dressing in more expensive and professional clothing because that is what she chose to do. I took her advice and bought a slew of cardigans and slacks that were too large to look less attractive and more business like, but I didn't feel good about myself because it was not me. I later saw her wearing ruffles, lace and brighter colors like I did, and was very resentful. However, I did not realize that I had begun to dress to fit in with those around me, such as grad students and my casual friends, when in the past I never dressed to fit in with anyone. Some people give advice and feel that they are being helpful when they try to mold you in their own image, but it is our choice to listen or not. I certainly could have taken a few pointers from my friend, but to change myself and not look at my preferences caused dissatisfaction and waste. We must have a deep sense of ourselves, our likes and our dislikes, and not be swayed by friends or people we look up to, like superiors. My major resentment is not as much in the money I wasted first buying professional clothes to fit someone else's image or casual clothing, although I do have major regrets about they money spent and the hours lost earning that money. My biggest resentment is that I have always had a strong sense of self and preference, but stopped listening to myself and what I was comfortable with for a few years.
To return back to streamlining your wardrobe, in selecting what you keep and throw away/donate, remember to keep things in which you feel comfortable, good and yourself in.
Do share your ideas with me.
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