Many women and even men look at their wardrobe when they have to go out, and are baffled. They utter that they have nothing to wear when clearly their wardrobes may be bursting open. The problem is that when you have too much of what does not match you or your lifestyle, getting dressed becomes a big stress. Often times, we are living in the past, trying to hang on desperately to youth or memories and not looking at what our lives are at the present and our goals for the future.
There is a common and wise advice that you should always dress for where you want to be or for the position you want in the future. Now, this is not to say that you need to wear a full suit if the head boss in your company wears one. However, you should dress professionally if that is the dress code of those in management. I have seen many women in my position dress like those less than their position or not even work appropriate, such as overly tight clothing or wild prints. I have genuinely appreciate the dress of some in lesser positions than me as they are very trendy and stylish, and I would wear similar outfits if I was going out on the weekend. However, for the office, since I met with clients and attorneys, I dressed very professionally.
I have a very professional work wardrobe that consists of 5 full pantsuits, 3 skirt suits, and 10 blazers that can be mixed and matched with pants, and 7 Chanel-styled blazers that can be match with work skirts and dresses. I have 12 pairs of slacks, 5 business skirts, 3 silk summer skirts, and 5 shift/sheath dresses. All the items are in black, grey, navy or pinstripe. This may seem utterly boring, but I wear silk/silky shirts and flowing blouses in black, ivory, red and royal blue under to create an elegant and more feminine look. To make the outfits not look too bland, I will wear earrings and necklaces. I also have several watches as I am a big fan of them, although I ironically need better time management at times.
Now, I am not saying that I have it all figured out as I am writing this post as my own wardrobe needs serious de-cluttering, of which I'm in the process. However, I wanted to share some of my realizations as I am going through my wardrobe. My professional wardrobe is very streamlined, but I have a lot of vagrant pieces that seem out of place and that I have insisted to myself is my casual wear. The truth is though that I go out with friends only once or twice a month, and I do not need an entire closet full of clothing to do so.
In de-cluttering, it is very important to asses your goals and daily activities, and proportion your wardrobe to that. For instance, if you work, you spend or intend to spend (for those of us in the job hunting phase), 70% of your days of the week at work, so it only makes sense that 70% of your wardrobe be professional. Your can allocate the other 25% to casual wear and another 5% for home wear or workout clothing. For very formal wear, it might be a good idea to have 3 outfits per occasion category, such as 3 cocktail dresses and 3 ballgowns. If you work from home or are a stay at home mom or housewife, you may choose to have 70% casual for home and running errands and 25% business casual for going out, meeting clients or parent teacher nights.
I personally have 50% casual wear and 50% professional wear, although I worked and intend to work 5 days a week or 70% of my week. As a result, I waste a lot of time looking for things, matching and getting dressed, and don't have room in my 2 closets and 1 dresser anymore. I need to dwindle down my casual wear to at least one third the amount.
I have held on to my casual wear because most of my close friends are in industries where their dress code is a lot more casual than mine. I have a casual wardrobe because I believe I would feel place wearing slack and blouses to hang out when they are wearing jeans and tshirts. However, this did not bother me in my early and mid twenties because during that time I wore my slacks to hang out with my friends with a simple blouse or once in a while, I would wear jeans with my work button down blouses. I have gone out of that semi casual/business style that felt very me in the last few years, and I have purchased a casual wardrobe to fit in more to my life two years ago when I took graduate classes and now as I am not currently employed. However, now that I am looking for work again, and a few times when I have work more business like wear to go out with my husband, I realize again that a business casual looks feels more of who I am. It no longer makes sense to me to have 3 separate wardrobes: formal business, business casual and extremely casual.
It is true that the world judges us by what we wears, so I do think it is important to dress professionally if that is the dress code of your firm and if you meet with clients or management in your firm because a professional image lends to your credibility. However, when it comes to what we wear for our leisure, it should be what we feel comfortable and ourselves in, and not for society, loved ones or friends. My husband likes to dress casual most of the time, and when we first me, it may have sometimes seemed that we don't match. However, it didn't matter to me how he dressed as he dressed appropriately if we were going somewhere special, and he always looked neat and clean, even in casual clothing. This is the same acceptance that others should have of us. I have had a friend in the past harp on me for not dressing in more expensive and professional clothing because that is what she chose to do. I took her advice and bought a slew of cardigans and slacks that were too large to look less attractive and more business like, but I didn't feel good about myself because it was not me. I later saw her wearing ruffles, lace and brighter colors like I did, and was very resentful. However, I did not realize that I had begun to dress to fit in with those around me, such as grad students and my casual friends, when in the past I never dressed to fit in with anyone. Some people give advice and feel that they are being helpful when they try to mold you in their own image, but it is our choice to listen or not. I certainly could have taken a few pointers from my friend, but to change myself and not look at my preferences caused dissatisfaction and waste. We must have a deep sense of ourselves, our likes and our dislikes, and not be swayed by friends or people we look up to, like superiors. My major resentment is not as much in the money I wasted first buying professional clothes to fit someone else's image or casual clothing, although I do have major regrets about they money spent and the hours lost earning that money. My biggest resentment is that I have always had a strong sense of self and preference, but stopped listening to myself and what I was comfortable with for a few years.
To return back to streamlining your wardrobe, in selecting what you keep and throw away/donate, remember to keep things in which you feel comfortable, good and yourself in.
Do share your ideas with me.
Mar 25, 2012
Green Ideas for Better Health & Productivity
Limiting the things that I bring into my home and simplifying my chores gives me more time to do what I really enjoy. I find that using environmentally friendly products are better for my health and for the environment. Here are some products and practices that I employ that makes my life a little bit easier.
SKIN CARE
Use natural skin care products. It is better for the environment and your skin. Coincidentally, most natural products have fewer ingredients than other products. Look for those with the least ingredients and with no preservatives. If you don’t use face makeup (powder, foundation, concealer, blush, etc.), steaming your face with a soft wash cloth and boiling water should be sufficient. If you run out of natural products or can’t find them near your neighborhood, products for extremely sensitive skin, such as Cephatil or Eucerin, also have fewer ingredients.
HOUSE CLEANING
Baking soda and vinegar are miracle house cleaners, which were used before cleaners were mass marketed. You can use them to deodorize, clean stoves, counter tops, tubs, sinks, etc. Check this site for recipes/idea. I use baking soda to clean pots and pans, and soak dishes in baking soda and minimal water to loosen grease and food, but I am looking for an alternative to liquid soap to wash dishes. Any ideas?
LAUNDRY/DRY CLEANING
For delicate materials, such as silk, cashmere and merino wool (which encompass half of my wardrobe due to my sensitive skin), you can just use clear, cheap shampoo, like Suave, White Rain or Tresemme to hand wash them in lukewarm water. This saves money on the cleaners and protects the environment because dry cleaning solvents are dangerous for the environment and also bad for your clothing because they break down fabrics. If you have a stain, try to treat it right away with a little hot water and undyed soap. Then you can just steam the fabric when you get home. Steaming is also a good alternative to dry cleaning if your aim is just to freshen your clothing after a wear of two until you are ready to wash it with gentle shampoo.
PERIODICALS – I have done away with all my magazine subscriptions, except one for boyfriend’s reading in the bathroom. lol. Sorry for being explicit. You can read most of the information on online versions of most newspapers and magazines. If you want premium content, most major newspapers and magazine offer online subscriptions now, but I advise not to complicate your life by doing so unless you need premium content for your job. Also, ask retailers to remove you from their mailing if you can so you don’t get catalogs and junk mail. When you do get catalogs or junk mail, recycle right away rather than letting them pile up. Don’t bother looking through them to browse unless there was something you were looking for previously.
BOOKS
I love the tactile-ness of books, but have only purchased a few books this entire year, since my husband bought me a Kindle Fire. I used to go on compulsive bookstore shopping at Strands and Barnes & Nobles. I still have held on to books not in eBook format, such as a few goth culture books, historical books on witchcraft and vampires, my collection of Poe and Lovecraft stories and my law books. However, all else have been replaced via eBook if the copyright has been expired, such as classics, like Wuthering Heights, and some of my psychology books. This saves so much time and space, and it looks so much like a book that the first few weeks of using it, I would reach for the edge as if turning a page. It is a little pricey, though cheaper than the Kindle, even though it was the first innovator of EBook technology. It is worth the price though in convenience and portability for your back, and think of how much you would save if you had to move all those books. Not to mention that it saves trees. All the classics are available in eBook format, and many current books are being produced as in eBook format (pdf) also. You can download classics, where copyrights have been expired, for free from Project Gutenberg and read in pdf format on the reader. These days, I only buy regular books if I really need them and cannot find it in a store. I also encourage supporting smaller booksellers when possible.
HOUSEKEEPING
Housecleaning takes up a lot of time if you have a lot of possessions, so the first thing that I recommend is clear out anything you have not used in the past year. This includes kitchen gadgets, office supplies, magazines, old video games and toys if you have children, etc., most of which can be donated to thrift stores. I also recommend getting rid of excess bins and containers because although they are marketed to keep clutter under control, they also keep you unaware of all the things that you actually own. The plastic in bins are also bad for the environment. I keep all kitchen items in accessible cupboards so they can be used regularly rather than stored somewhere. For two people who don’t usually entertain more than 4 people at a time, 6 forks, 6 knives, 6 spoons, 6 plates, 6 bowls and 6 glasses are sufficient. A lot of people have way too many house wares that they rarely or never use. We used to have only 2 of each, but since we like to have a few friends over instead of spending a lot of money dining out all the time, we bought a few more items, but not more than needed.
CLOTHING
I have said a lot about minimizing clothes in my other posts, since as a female that was my biggest area I had to minimize when I started this journey. I have to emphasize that I do not recommend storing clothes, shoes or coats where you cannot see them because you will not be aware of how much you actually have. I keep all my clothes hung up and shoes on wood shelves and in wood baskets. At the end of the season, I wash or steam all my clothing and put them in clear, reusable suit bags. I hate using plastic, but this makes it easier to see the items that I have in the event that I need an off season item and also to keep inventory of all that I have. Shoes that I am currently using go on a wood shelf near the door, and those not in use are in wooden baskets in the bottom of my closet.
FOOD
I am not a strict vegetarian, but try to eat meat and fish as little as possible. I used to be a strict vegetarian, but as I am anemic, I got very sick, and my doctor recommended that I eat a little more protein. So I eat fish and seafood 2 to 3 times a week, and once in a blue when I visit my boyfriend’s parent’s home, I eat chicken or pork if there is nothing else because I do not want to inconvenience them, but that is rare. That said, I try to eat simple, vegetarian food most of the time. It is better for the environment because of all the emissions and food required to maintain the food industry and for your health as studies have shown that communities that do not eat meat live longer. See the Cornell China Study, and the Oprah’s episode on centenarian (person who is at least 100 years old) populations around the world. I walk with vegetarian snacks, like Kashi cereal, dried fruits, etc., so if I am hungry and cannot find a vegetarian friendly menu or if it is too expensive such as in New York, I have sustenance to hold me out until I get home. I do my best not to eat chocolate, processed food or excess sugar, though I do have a fruit filled cookie or make flan or other desserts. I try to make deserts at home because there are no or less preservatives and less sugar than store bought items.
SKIN CARE
Use natural skin care products. It is better for the environment and your skin. Coincidentally, most natural products have fewer ingredients than other products. Look for those with the least ingredients and with no preservatives. If you don’t use face makeup (powder, foundation, concealer, blush, etc.), steaming your face with a soft wash cloth and boiling water should be sufficient. If you run out of natural products or can’t find them near your neighborhood, products for extremely sensitive skin, such as Cephatil or Eucerin, also have fewer ingredients.
HOUSE CLEANING
Baking soda and vinegar are miracle house cleaners, which were used before cleaners were mass marketed. You can use them to deodorize, clean stoves, counter tops, tubs, sinks, etc. Check this site for recipes/idea. I use baking soda to clean pots and pans, and soak dishes in baking soda and minimal water to loosen grease and food, but I am looking for an alternative to liquid soap to wash dishes. Any ideas?
LAUNDRY/DRY CLEANING
For delicate materials, such as silk, cashmere and merino wool (which encompass half of my wardrobe due to my sensitive skin), you can just use clear, cheap shampoo, like Suave, White Rain or Tresemme to hand wash them in lukewarm water. This saves money on the cleaners and protects the environment because dry cleaning solvents are dangerous for the environment and also bad for your clothing because they break down fabrics. If you have a stain, try to treat it right away with a little hot water and undyed soap. Then you can just steam the fabric when you get home. Steaming is also a good alternative to dry cleaning if your aim is just to freshen your clothing after a wear of two until you are ready to wash it with gentle shampoo.
PERIODICALS – I have done away with all my magazine subscriptions, except one for boyfriend’s reading in the bathroom. lol. Sorry for being explicit. You can read most of the information on online versions of most newspapers and magazines. If you want premium content, most major newspapers and magazine offer online subscriptions now, but I advise not to complicate your life by doing so unless you need premium content for your job. Also, ask retailers to remove you from their mailing if you can so you don’t get catalogs and junk mail. When you do get catalogs or junk mail, recycle right away rather than letting them pile up. Don’t bother looking through them to browse unless there was something you were looking for previously.
BOOKS
I love the tactile-ness of books, but have only purchased a few books this entire year, since my husband bought me a Kindle Fire. I used to go on compulsive bookstore shopping at Strands and Barnes & Nobles. I still have held on to books not in eBook format, such as a few goth culture books, historical books on witchcraft and vampires, my collection of Poe and Lovecraft stories and my law books. However, all else have been replaced via eBook if the copyright has been expired, such as classics, like Wuthering Heights, and some of my psychology books. This saves so much time and space, and it looks so much like a book that the first few weeks of using it, I would reach for the edge as if turning a page. It is a little pricey, though cheaper than the Kindle, even though it was the first innovator of EBook technology. It is worth the price though in convenience and portability for your back, and think of how much you would save if you had to move all those books. Not to mention that it saves trees. All the classics are available in eBook format, and many current books are being produced as in eBook format (pdf) also. You can download classics, where copyrights have been expired, for free from Project Gutenberg and read in pdf format on the reader. These days, I only buy regular books if I really need them and cannot find it in a store. I also encourage supporting smaller booksellers when possible.
HOUSEKEEPING
Housecleaning takes up a lot of time if you have a lot of possessions, so the first thing that I recommend is clear out anything you have not used in the past year. This includes kitchen gadgets, office supplies, magazines, old video games and toys if you have children, etc., most of which can be donated to thrift stores. I also recommend getting rid of excess bins and containers because although they are marketed to keep clutter under control, they also keep you unaware of all the things that you actually own. The plastic in bins are also bad for the environment. I keep all kitchen items in accessible cupboards so they can be used regularly rather than stored somewhere. For two people who don’t usually entertain more than 4 people at a time, 6 forks, 6 knives, 6 spoons, 6 plates, 6 bowls and 6 glasses are sufficient. A lot of people have way too many house wares that they rarely or never use. We used to have only 2 of each, but since we like to have a few friends over instead of spending a lot of money dining out all the time, we bought a few more items, but not more than needed.
CLOTHING
I have said a lot about minimizing clothes in my other posts, since as a female that was my biggest area I had to minimize when I started this journey. I have to emphasize that I do not recommend storing clothes, shoes or coats where you cannot see them because you will not be aware of how much you actually have. I keep all my clothes hung up and shoes on wood shelves and in wood baskets. At the end of the season, I wash or steam all my clothing and put them in clear, reusable suit bags. I hate using plastic, but this makes it easier to see the items that I have in the event that I need an off season item and also to keep inventory of all that I have. Shoes that I am currently using go on a wood shelf near the door, and those not in use are in wooden baskets in the bottom of my closet.
FOOD
I am not a strict vegetarian, but try to eat meat and fish as little as possible. I used to be a strict vegetarian, but as I am anemic, I got very sick, and my doctor recommended that I eat a little more protein. So I eat fish and seafood 2 to 3 times a week, and once in a blue when I visit my boyfriend’s parent’s home, I eat chicken or pork if there is nothing else because I do not want to inconvenience them, but that is rare. That said, I try to eat simple, vegetarian food most of the time. It is better for the environment because of all the emissions and food required to maintain the food industry and for your health as studies have shown that communities that do not eat meat live longer. See the Cornell China Study, and the Oprah’s episode on centenarian (person who is at least 100 years old) populations around the world. I walk with vegetarian snacks, like Kashi cereal, dried fruits, etc., so if I am hungry and cannot find a vegetarian friendly menu or if it is too expensive such as in New York, I have sustenance to hold me out until I get home. I do my best not to eat chocolate, processed food or excess sugar, though I do have a fruit filled cookie or make flan or other desserts. I try to make deserts at home because there are no or less preservatives and less sugar than store bought items.
Mar 24, 2012
Moderation for Progress
I have a high respect for people who are minimalist due to the sheer discipline. However, I have found that some people believe that doing so makes you automatically a successful and self fulfilled person. I was a minimalist for most of my life, although I did not give myself such a label. I had only clothing and items I used, except for my large library of books. In my mid twenties, I shopped a lot, trying to fit an image that friends said I needed in the corporate world. However, unlike before, many of the items I had were not really "me", but others style that they oppressed on me. So, in the last 4 years, I went on an extreme spin to be a minimalist. It was great to challenge myself to see how much I can live without. Yet, I don't feel that I moved much towards achieving success in life due to it. I enjoy material things, but was never attached to them nor did I ever have the mistaken belief that I would find happiness purely by obtaining stuff. However, the minimalist goals of living close to the land, living with less stuff, shopping less and finding more time for friends and family did not fulfill me in themselves. I have always seen family as important, and other than school loans, I have never been in debt over purchasing items. I don't believe in having stuff you don't use, nor buying stuff you don't use, though I have certainly had my mishaps. I also don't believe in rampant consumerism for the sake of it or for the false believe that it will fulfill you. Doing without is refreshing and freeing, but having also can create joy and comfort. Therefore, I find moderation, not minimalism or extreme materialism is a better way.
What struck me about many minimalists is that they are so extreme. Some harped at me for owning 20 pairs of shoes when I work in the corporate legal field and live in NYC where our streets are not forgiving on shoes, and where we have 4 seasons.
People seem to have categories of minimalism now, such as extreme minimalist or moderate minimalist, but these are highly arbitrary. You are either a minimalist (obsessed with reducing possessions & living with less), an materialist/extremist (obsessed with gaining material possessions) or a moderate. I think most people fall into the category of being moderate, and with anything in life, moderation may be be the best in most things. I personally do not consider myself a minimalist or a materialist, but rather a moderate.
I am not obsessed with material things, but I have no desire to be so strict on myself that I cannot enjoy a small shopping trip now and then. I donate regularly, so I am not so attached to things that I am not letting them go. While I have had guilt at wasting money on purchases that didn't fit into my lifestyle in the past, it was a valuable lesson learned, and one that I remember to not commit. I make time for friends and family, and know that they are a great treasure. However, I am aware that my peace and self fulfillment is most important as if I don't have those, I am not as pleasant, encouraging and kind as I could be. So, yes, I do want to move up in life. I have career goals that I want to achieve. I would like to live a comfortable life. However, I also have big dreams to help others if I am blessed enough to achieve wealth. My reasons for attaining career success are 1) to be self fulfilled and reach my highest potential, 2) to be self sufficient so I am not a burden or expense on my family and to build a life with my husband, and 3) to give back to my close family, close friends and society. They are all equally important goals to me. In being self fulfilled, I like to have nice things and enjoy beauty. It is not a need per se, but something that makes me happy to reward myself for my hard work.
So, extreme minimalists may not agree and look down. I know some who are not working or are just happy being where they are in life, just living on a small budget and hanging out with friends and family in most of their time. That may make them happy, and that is fine. I personally think contentment is commendable. However, as much as I love people and my loved ones, having goals and challenging myself to achieve is also integral to my happiness. So, to each his own.
Mar 20, 2012
Words to Inspire You
"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left." - Hubert Humphrey
"Self-actualization refers to the desire for self-fulfillment, ...to the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming." - A.H. Maslow
"Self-actualization refers to the desire for self-fulfillment, ...to the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming." - A.H. Maslow
Words to Inspire You
"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left." - Hubert Humphrey
"Self-actualization refers to the desire for self-fulfillment, ...to the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming." - A.H. Maslow
"Self-actualization refers to the desire for self-fulfillment, ...to the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming." - A.H. Maslow
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