Penne Alla Vodka Recipe (Vegetarian, Pescetarian, Vegan)

Eating fresh food and more vegetarian options can help those who want to loose weight or those who are thin, but they want to be healthier. I am thin, but I used to get sick all the time with respiratory infections until I started eating more vegetarian. However, meals must be very balanced with vegetables and protein totaling in proportion to the carbs to loose weight or to get nutritional value.

I made Penne Alla Vodka last night, and I didn't have heavy cream, so I substituted shredded vegan cheese as soy or rice milk would not be creamy enough. You can also use shredded cow's milk cheese if you are a lacto-ovo vegetarian. I am a pescetarian, meaning that I still eat some seafood, such as mollusks and shellfish, and occasionally fish. I was a lacto-vegetarian before, but I got very anemic (black and blues all over my body) because I am susceptible to it as I was born anemic. I made a whole pot for the rest of the week. If you have time, it is a good idea to make tomato sauce from scratch and freeze it as all natural is always better as well as use fresh shrimp and clams. However, I was out of tomatoes and too hungry to go to the grocery store and deal with the lines.

Total time (preparation + cooking): 25-35 minutes
Cooking level: Easy
Total servings: 8 servings equivalent to 2 cups of cooked pasta each

Ingredients

• 1 4 oz.can Snow's chopped clams in their own juice (reserve juice)
• 1 10 oz. can Geisha whole baby clams (discard juice as it is mostly salt water)
• 1 4 oz Bumblebee's baby shrimp
• Vegan alternative: 2 links Tofurkey or 1 can of mock duck in place of clams or shrimp
• 1 28 oz can Tuttorosso crushed Tomatoes (4 fresh chopped tomatoes preferred, but I ran out)
• 1 14 oz can Dole stewed tomatoes (A 6 oz can of tomato paste is  preferred)
• 6 cloves garlic, chopped
• 2 medium carrots, shredded (frozen carrots is fine as they retain the nutrients)
  
• 1 small bunch of broccoli (frozen broccoli is fine as they retain the nutrients)
  
• 1 lb whole wheat penne
• 1/1 lb semolina penne (you may omit and use all whole wheat, but I ran out)
• 1 hot red cherry pepper, crushed (red pepper flakes also good)
• 1/4 cup Vodka (the cheapest Vodka you can find will do)
• Vegan or Cow's milk cheese (1 inch x 2 inches x 2 inches), shredded
• 1 tbs fresh minced basil (I keep my herbs in the freezer to keep them fresh and readily available.)
• 1/2 tbs fresh thyme
• 1/2 tbs fresh oregano
• 1/4 tsp sea salt, or to taste
• 1/4 tsp fresh peppercorns, grated, or to taste 
  

Cooking Directions

1. Put a pot of water to boil.
2. On medium heat, fry garlic in 2 tbsp of olive oil until lightly browned. Add crushed red pepper and saute another 30 seconds.
3. Vegans: slice Tofurkey or mock chicken and fry for 5 minutes. Skip steps 4 and 9.
4. Add clam juice
5. Lower heat and add vodka
6. Add broccoli and shred carrots with a potato peeler and add as you go. I do this to save time on preparation and to eliminate too many dishes to wash.
7. Simmer for 1 minute, then add crushed and stewed tomatoes.
8. Add thyme, basil and oregano. They wilt too fast and loose flavor if you add them too early.
9. Add salt to taste and grate black peppercorns on top to taste.
10. Add clams and shrimp. 
11. At this time, your pasta water should be boiling, so add pasta and a dash of salt.
12. Simmer on low heat for 10 minutes. 
13. Remove pasta and drain in a colander.
14. Turn off the sauce. Plate pasta and add sauce on top. Bon apetit.

OCD Perfectionism & Criticism

I desire perfectionism - it is not due to ego or society, but because I just prefer and enjoy seeing a perfectly organized closet or a perfectly punctuated/written piece of work. However, I cannot be perfect in everything or even half of the things I want to be so because I just don't have the time and energy to achieve that, and this causes me a lot of issues because I have had OCD perfectionism for as long as I can remember. As a child, I was highly functioning, so it aided me in some ways, but as I became socialized in my pre-teens, it started slowly to become maladaptive perfectionism as I became aware of the expectations of others and also aware that I didn't always fit in or relate to people 100% or as much as others seemed to relate. The other thing that I struggle with is moderate, chronic depression, which is why on some days, I am not at my best and just don't have the energy to get get things done perfectly or to my standards. This, then often leads me to not doing anything at all by procrastinating and doing more distracting and less stressful things, such as surfing the web, reading non-related books than my studies, etc. In the end, though, it makes me feel more depressed to not have worked towards my goals. One other thing I struggle with is social anxiety. I am certain that many people with OCD perfectionism struggle with this as well. We desire to portray a perfect image to the world or to play the perfect role in whatever situation, and since we are already hard on ourselves due to perfectionism, any criticism hits us 100 times harder than it does someone without OCD. Sometimes people may not even be critical, but we feel we falter on how we should be in a certain role.

For instance, I have social skills and am not an awkward person, but I am also an introvert. I turn on the outgoing switch when the time and situation calls for it, and I think I do well enough with it as I make acquaintances easily. However, doing it daily or even a few times a week is absolutely exhausting for me. I sometimes feel guilty for seeing friends and family only once every week or two weeks. I am not working now, so I have the time, and although I love my friends and family and enjoy seeing them, I really just want to be alone most of the time. To add to that, sometimes my depression will act up, and I do not want to interact with people, except for my husband who sees me and accepts me and is rarely critical. (My husband is not goth, but his normalcy gives me a sense of balance, which is something I need  with these issues.) So, I will avoid going outside for days at a time and even put off errands and chores because I feel guilty for being in society and not engaging in it by small talk or polite greeting. However, due to my OCD, I feel guilty to do this or not to see friends and family because I feel like I am not fulfilling my role as polite member of society, daughter, sister, friend, employee, acquaintance, even member of the goth community (since I don't like clubs and rarely go to shows), etc. For friends, family members and bosses/colleagues who can be critical, but who I am sure mean no real harm to me, I sometimes dread talking to them or hanging out with them, even though I love them because I get anxious about possible judgment, expectation and criticism when I don't do what they want or see fit. I have even projected and judged them in return and thought that they are negative people, so I will not hang with them. However, although they might have some judge-mental tendencies, they are not blatantly offensive, and I do want them in my life, and with some, I have to deal with for work, so I have to work on not letting the standards and criticisms of others add to my already too high and unforgiving standards that I have on myself.

My advice to those who struggle with the same things as I do is to try to be mindful if criticisms are your own or that of others. It is really important to build self esteem and a personal value system, so you are not affected by the words or expectation of others. No matter what someone thinks and say to you, even if you have to grin and bear it to get on in your family or at your job, please practice trying to not let it penetrate to your self worth. I have done that in the past, and small criticisms added up and became so debilitating that I quit several very good job that I now regret leaving, especially now that the paralegal market is so slow and because I really did enjoy working with my boss and colleagues. I just let the criticism that anyone experiences in any job affect me. It was due to my desire to be perfect, so if anyone saw imperfection in me, I took it really hard, and rather than deal with the issue, my defense mechanism was avoidance and to run/quit. Sometimes we just don't want to let people down, but we really can't please everyone all the time. However, all these experiences, as painful and regretful as they are now, has led me to have no choice but to accept that my OCD perfectionism is a problem that cannot be ignored and that has to be worked on continuously, and maybe even for the rest of my life, since it is genetic as well as from my pre-teen upbringing to now.

Remember to be kind to yourself and not too critical. People with OCD perfectionism and depression are their own worse enemies, and that is why the criticism from others becomes unbearable. However, realize that your intense emotional (hidden, not displayed often in my case) to the criticism of others is because you are not forgiving on yourself. Taking it on yourself easy does not mean inertia as that will make the OCD and depression worse. Being kind to yourself means getting up after each bout or fall, small or large, and not determining your self worth by results. Many people with depression and OCD are kind and gentle people to others, but not to ourselves. I consistently have to remind myself that I would not be so unforgiving on a friend if she made a mistake or didn't perform well enough. I still struggle with it, but I think it will get better with consistent practice. Lack of consistency and structure has been my downfall. However, it is never too late to get better or improve, even little by little. Babies fall numerous times a day, and we still love them just the same and encourage them on. Begin the practice of nurturing yourself in the same way.

Therapy & Personality Disorders (Batfit Health Challenge)

Le Professeur Gothique asked for a Batfit Challenge assessment recently. While I did not start the challenge six months ago at it's original juncture, I would like to now as I am periodically and continuously seeking to improve, although I lack consistency. It got me thinking about mental health, and my current and past state, and how I have grown as well as how I can improve.

We don't live in a perfect world, and many try to avoid the negative in life by running from it or avoiding it. One thing I have found common in many goths (though not all as nothing is absolute) of all genres and backgrounds is the willingness to face themselves head on and look at both the good and the bad in life as well as themselves. I think that it takes courage for anyone regardless of what group or subculture they are in to look at themselves and want to understand, change and improve.

I know that many people are inherently goth from their natural tastes and dispositions. At least, I know I am that way. Concurrently, many goths are highly sensitive persons (HSP), introverted or struggling with depression or another personality disorder. It is just the cards dealt by biology or behavioral environment. The same occurs for mainstream society. I don't feel that goths are obsessed with suicide, dying or death like the common misconception of those not in the subculture. Goths just choose to explore death and depression if they are depressed, rather than run from it. I know that like many people with depression, goths or mainstream, some probably have thought about or attempted suicide, but for many thankfully, it is a learning experience. I have had depression for a number of years and OCD perfectionism, and did not come into the goth subculture because of it. I was already predisposed to darker tastes and interested in darker literature as a result of these issues.  I don't like to talk about it with random people nor do I like to bring it up too much because I feel selfish to dominate a conversation with my issues, but it's great to know that I can talk about it without feeling judged, and actually feel understood as I find many goths have a deeper understanding of things.

Below is a listing of personality disorders. I list them because I think the first step to helping oneself is to recognize some traits that you have that may be affecting your life and your functioning. Recognizing those traits is the first step to improving oneself. If your symptoms and habits are drastically affecting your life, please seek medical attention in the form of psychotherapy or medication on the advice of a psychiatrist. If you are not completely sure what your issues are, a psychologist or psychiatrist can help clarify things and also lead you into cognitive behavioral therapy. Even if you understand yourself, it can be difficult to change if you are not very vigilant and aware of your detrimental thoughts and emotions. I have been employing my own methods of self-help for years for my OCD and depression, but they are not always fool-proof, especially in stressful times, so I might try therapy also. I usually employ the techniques of mindfulness, pranayama yogic breathing, yoga, write poetry and journal to help myself. Sometimes, though, even with awareness, we need a therapist to help uncover and change underlying negative attitudes and behaviors, so I believe I will visit a therapist in the future to see if it is helpful to uncover and change negative self view as well as clarify other things. One thing that I would like to clarify myself is that while I am not shy and don't mind speaking in public, I am very sensitive to criticism or fear being judged only by people I respect or value, such as close friends, close family or authority figures (bosses, professors, etc.), but not strangers as much. On some days, I also dislike small talk with strangers or people I am not close to or just want to be alone away from everyone, so I will avoid going to shops where I generally chit chat with the owners. However, I would not call it a fear of people, even in those days. I think these things fall in the line of depression, OCD, social anxiety or avoidance personality disorder, but sometimes I can't put my finger on if the feeling causes the behavior or if the behavior/situation causes the feeling. This is something a therapist would be able to give me a more objective view on.

In regards to therapy, I believe that going to a trained psychologist or psychiatrist, rather than a therapist with little educational background. It is also a good idea to get a therapist trained in your issue area, if you are aware of it on some level. I am a very private person (ironic because I am blogging about issues here, but I do so to help others), so I want to make sure that the person I am opening up to on deep issues is not trained, and that I will not have to go to multiple people to find someone who understands my issues. Psychologists and psychiatrists have clinical training as well as educational training and have confidentiality and ethical codes that they follow. Therapy can be very expensive, so you should expect good quality service as well. Here is a link to find a therapist in your area. You can filter by training type, gender, specialty, and more.

Summary of the Personality Disorders

Schizothymic

Hyperesthetic

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
 
Perfectionism; inflexibility; correctness; self-righteousness; authoritarianism; workaholism; indecisiveness; overconscientiousness; scrupulousness; restricted expression of affection; parsimony; obstinacy; orderliness; hoarding. 

 

Avoidant Personality Disorder
Social discomfort; fear of negative evaluation; timidity; sensitivity to criticism and disapproval; introversion; social anxiety; fear of embarrassment; fear of rejection; social isolation; yearning for affection and acceptance. 

Paranoid Personality Disorder
Distrust; suspiciousness; expectations of being exploited; questioning the loyalty of friends; reading hidden demeaning and threatening meanings into benign remarks or events; bearing grudges; being easily slighted; questioning the fidelity of spouse. 

Histrionic Personality Disorder
Excessive emotionality and attention-seeking; dependence upon reassurance, approval, and praise; sexual seductiveness; overconcern with physical attractiveness; emotional exaggeration and shallow expression of emotions; self-centeredness; strong drive for immediate gratification of desires; impressionistic speech.

Anesthetic

Sadistic Personality Disorder
Cruel, demeaning, aggressive behavior; physical cruelty; dominance; humiliating people in public; harshly disciplining those under their control; pleasure in harming or inflicting pain; intimidation; restricting the autonomy of others; fascination with violence, weapons, martial arts, injury, or torture. 

Schizotypal Personality Disorder
Deficits in interpersonal relatedness; peculiarities of ideation, appearance, and behavior; ideas of reference; excessive social anxiety; odd beliefs or magical thinking; unusual perceptual experiences; odd, eccentric behavior or appearance; having no close friends or confidants; odd speech; inappropriate or constricted affect; suspiciousness or paranoid ideation. 

Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Low self-esteem; pseudo-confidence; exhibitionism; pretentiousness; constant striving for prestige; intellectual narcissism; delusions of superiority; deceitfulness; manipulativeness; cynicism; confidence games; idealized object representations; defense mechanism of externalization; fragmentation of the self, feelings of emptiness and deadness; proud, hubristic temperament; megalomania; hypochondriasis; impulsiveness; substance abuse; self-destructiveness. 

Schizoid Personality Disorder
Indifference to social relationships; restricted range of emotional experience and expression; avoiding close relationships; always choosing solitary activities; phlegmatic temperament; rarely experiencing strong emotions; avoiding sexual experiences; indifference to praise and criticism; having no close friends or confidants; constricted affect: aloofness, coldness, and little reciprocation of gestures or facial expressions.

Cyclothymic

Depressive

Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder
Passive resistance to demands for adequate social and occupational performance; procrastination; sulkiness, irritability, and argumentativeness when asked to do something; working deliberately slowly or doing a bad job; unjustified protests that others make unreasonable demands; claims to have "forgotten" obligations; rating own job performance much higher than others do; resenting useful suggestions; obstructing others by not doing own job; criticizing and scorning those in authority. 

Depressive Personality Disorder
Depressive cognition and behavior; dejection, gloominess, cheerlessness, joylessness, unhappiness; low self-esteem; beliefs of inadequacy and worthlessness; criticism, blaming, and derogation of self; brooding and worry; negativism, criticism, and judging of others; pessimism; remorsefulness and guilt feelings.

Masochistic Personality Disorder
Self-defeating behavior; undermining or avoidance of pleasurable experiences; involvement in situations and experiences which bring suffering; rejection or prevention of help from others; entering into relationships which bring disappointment, failure, and mistreatment; depression, guilt, and accidents in reaction to positive personal events; provocation of angry and rejecting responses from others; failure to accomplish tasks crucial to self-interest; rejection of those who treat them well; excessive, unsolicited self-sacrifice. 

Dependent Personality Disorder
Dependent and submissive behavior; excessive dependence upon advice and reassurance; allowing others to make important personal decisions; agreeing with others to avoid being rejected; lack of initiative; doing unpleasant and demeaning tasks for the sake of acceptance; feelings of helplessness when alone; feelings of devastation and helplessness when relationships end; being easily hurt by criticism and disapproval.

Hypomanic

Narcissistic Personality Disorder
High self-esteem; grandiosity; lack of empathy; an arrogant, haughty attitude; interpersonal exploitation; grandiose sense of self-importance; exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements; conviction of uniqueness, specialness; belief that they can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions); fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love; sense of entitlement; requiring constant attention and admiration; feelings of envy, believes that others are envious. 

Antisocial Personality Disorder
Irresponsible, antisocial behavior; failure to honor financial obligations; failure to be a responsible parent; failure to plan ahead; inability to sustain consistent work behavior; failure to conform to social norms; antisocial acts that are grounds for arrest, e.g., destroying property, harassing others, stealing, or having an illegal occupation; irritability and aggression; reckless behavior without regard to personal safety; promiscuity; callousness and lack of remorse; inability to tolerate boredom; depression; beliefs that others are hostile to them; incapacity for close, lasting relationships. 

Borderline Personality Disorder
Instability of mood, interpersonal relationships, and self-image; alternation between extremes of overidealization and devaluation in relationships; impulsiveness in spending, sex, substance use, shoplifting, reckless driving, or binge eating; affective instability; inappropriate, intense anger or lack of control of anger; suicidal threats, gestures, or behavior; self-mutilation; identity disturbance; feelings of emptiness or boredom; frantic efforts to avoid abandonment.

Cyclothymic Personality Disorder
Periodic, extreme shifts in mood and behavior, e.g., from insomnia or hypersomnia to decreased need for sleep; from low energy or chronic fatigue to more energy than usual; from feelings of inadequacy to inflated self-esteem; from decreased effectiveness to increased productivity; from decreased attention, concentration, or ability to think clearly to sharpened and unusually creative thinking; from social withdrawal to uninhibited people seeking; from loss of interest in sex to hypersexuality; from reduction in pleasurable activities to excessive involvement in them; from timidity to physical recklessness; from being less talkative than usual to being extremely talkative; from pessimistic attitude to an overly optimistic one; from tearfulness or crying to inappropriate laughing, joking, and punning.

Summarized from: American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 3rd ed.(1980), 3rd ed., Rev.(1987), 4th ed.(1994). Washington: American Psychiatric Association. 

source: http://www.ptypes.com/summary.html

Psychological Implications of Clutter

Many times we hoard items because it gives us a sense of security. A guest on Oprah noted that many people keep things and develop clutter because they fear the future, or for other psychological reasons. Although I don’t believe I am a compulsive hoarder, it would be advisable that readers take a look at this link if they have a problem with clutter and hoarding.

We can all relate to some of these items in some manner, but the most important thing is to not let yourself slip too much if you do slip. I notice that I always buy stuff or keep stuff to alleviate boredom and take my mind off stress or insecurity about the future. I started  buying items after I got a job because I was not able to without feeling guilty to when I was not working,  and I indulged now that I got a job.

I have reorganized every week or two, but reorganizing is not enough because the clutter returns. At first, I thought it is because I don’t have enough time to clean as before and that I don’t put things in their rightful places because I am sometimes in a rush.
I am admitting to myself that I simply have too much stuff still. This has included 6 packets of  index cards and index card boxes, folders, a rainboot, 2 baking pans, 4 cardigans for winter, 4 sweaters and 4 summer cardigans and 3 suit jackets that were unnecesary as I have enough clothing, but that I thought would be work appropriate.  Since I brought several items in, I need to donate several items of clothing that I worn less than 5 times, but that I hold on to because they are good quality.

Papers, namely magazines and books have also piled up. Feeling terrible due to sustainability issues, I refused to throw magazines out until I read them, and there aren’t any places I can donate them in my area.  Luckily, my subscriptions have expired, and I have been reading and recycling some, so there are about 10 only that I have to scan and recycle now. My books are another story because I bought many in certain times in my life that will offer beneficial advice for my well being as well as for my interest in literature. The solution here is that I am going to read the ones that I want to read the most, as opposed to my strategy of saving them for last, and after I have read them all, to purchase a ebook reader and only buy ebooks from hereon. I love books, but I am not settled in life, and don’t want to be too attached to any home, so a ebook reader, though pricey at $300 and above will save me alot of time and space.  I will only purchase paper books that I really want to read and that are not in ebook format.

I watched a movie called Mongul about the life of Ghengis Khan, and the rusticness and nomadicness of life back then really appealed to me, though not the violence. It always makes me appreciate my life, and make me feel happiess when I live as simply and with as few items as possible. Having too many items lures us into a false sense of security especially when you may feel you do not have control in your life in some areas, or are unsatisfied in some areas. However, it actually does not alleviate those feelings, but adds  more fuel to it because many possessions make you loose your control of what is important to you as you are bombarded with so many items. It also takes away from your time as you have to care for, clean and some even subconciously worry about loosing stuff. Make sure that security is in yourself and your life, not in your possessions.

Let Possessions Go = Embrace the Present Self

I have had the guilt over letting go of possessions because I have more than I honestly need and use. Being that I am not working at the moment, I have had some pangs of hesitation to letting go lately, that is not very common for me. It is due to the guilt of money wasted and loosing money when I am not bringing in any income at the moment.

I have listed many items on Ebay, but have either not had sales because people want it dirt cheap. Ebay also high seller insertion fees and final value fees, so the few I have sold have only resulted in about $8 per item for items that were new and valued at least $50 each. I have also had the headache of some buyers not paying and having to initiate a dispute or wanting to return items because they change their mind. I do not get reimbursed for the insertion fees or shipping fees if the buyer returns the item. So, unless there is an item that you can make at least $30 selling, it is not worth it. Consequently, only name high end brand items sell for at least $30. My H&M clothes have not resulted in sales. The time to prepare the item and wait in the post office to ship it does not seem to be worth the $5 net that I make on lower end brand items. Consignment shops only usually give $5 to $10 even for high end items.

I have never hesitated to donate in the past, but there are only two charities that pick up, and I don't have a car to take items to legitimate charities. The two charities that pick up are not well known charities, and I have seen people selling used clothing in Chinatown and other areas, so I am not sure if these charities are legitimate, as research on the internet have not given much detail than a simple website that anyone can make. Since I purchased my items with my hard earned money, I want them to be used to legitimately help others.

However, I have come to a new conclusion today that we can't control certain things, especially the actions of others. When we give money to a homeless person, we cannot be sure that he will use the money for food rather than for alcohol or drugs. We hope that he will use it for food, but we really don't know, do we? My choice with this issue has been to give homeless people only food, and not money. However, with our clothing donations, we can't be sure that the charities are selling the items and using it to help the less fortunate, rather than for their own pockets.

I have accumulated a pile of items as I have lost weight since going back to being a vegetarian a year ago. Many of my items don't fit and cannot be altered and some items cause skin allergies (such as wool and cashmere). While I have donated much in the past, I have held onto good quality items, such as name brand items, items made of wool or cashmere and new shoes or shoes worn just a few times, but are now very tight on me. (My feet have gotten wider as I walk a lot these days, so I have to wear a 6 wide width to 6.5. I can no longer wear my size 5 1/2 or regular size 6 shoes). I have held onto these items, even though I purchased new items to fit me appropriately now because I hoped to sell them on eBay, but deep inside I knew it was not worth the effort, especially when even some of my name brand items didn't sell. I have held on to these items because of guilt and inability to let go of the past, and fear of the future and what I cannot control.

I feel guilt because I am not working and the items discarded are a symbol of the time I worked to earn money to buy the item. I also feel guilt for enjoying shopping for these items, thinking it will bring joy to me, when that joy lasted for only a short time.  I feel fear of the future because my mother's constant about not throwing things away because you may need them someday and not have money has made me fearful of not having enough in the future. I have kept many items that didn't sell with the thought that I can refashion clothing into new clothing, but I don't need anymore, so it makes no sense other than adding to the clutter.

Yet today, I am doing a big overhaul and letting go of these chains of guilt and fear. I purchased some of the items in times of pain and uneasiness due to tragedy and feeling down. Keeping items that remind me of that and make me feel guilty for going against my nature and knowledge that objects don't bring peace only make me feel worse in this moment. The reason for the purchase, the time and money spent are now all the past. I cannot get the time or money back, and that is fine. The awareness and lessons from mistakes are jewels of the present that I can apply in the present and not make the same mistakes again. The fear of the future is unfounded. I am not an invalid nor an unintelligent or lazy person. Although I am studying for grad school now, and not working, I will work in the future. Although I don't have extensive long term experiences at jobs, I have managed to get jobs in the past, and at each job, I was valued for my hard work, intelligence, resourcefulness and desire to do well and be efficient.

The fear of not being able to make money or not having enough is not because I crave material things for comfort, but because I am allowing the fears and words of others in society to affect my own view of myself and my capabilities. Not working, worrying about the future, and reflecting about the mistakes of the past diminishes the self esteem and is dis-empowering.

Letting go of things that hold you back, be they ideas, frames of thinking or possessions is a way of empowering yourself because you are challenging the things that cause fear, anxiety or guilt in you. While we cannot control the future or the actions of others, including charities, we can control ourselves and how we view life and ourselves. We can view ourselves as strong and adaptive, or flawed, fearful or always making mistakes.

Holding on to possessions with the hope of one day selling on ebay, while they pile up and cause us  to waste time re-arranging, cleaning and feeling guilty about only makes us  feel a loss of energy. While we may have indeed wasted money by buying these items, and not using them and now donating them, we do not have to wallow in mistakes and bad choices forever. We can take this as an opportunity for strength  to overcome the past, live solely in the present and take actions for a more fruitful future.

So, today if you are trying to reduce your possessions, take a deep breath and let go of the attachment to the past, to attitudes you have held on to, to guilt and to the possessions. Don't look at the possessions and create stories in your mind or lament over the feelings associated with them. Don't let yourself feel the overwhelming feelings of guilt and fear, but feel the emotions of the the beginning of a freer, less attached you, that lives only in the present. Take that donation box, and just ruthlessly put in the items that you have not used in the last few months or that do not give value to who you are now and who you want to be. Let go, welcome change and embrace today.