I hope it is not too forward of me to say that everyone is looking for happiness as their goal in life. We try to find it through different avenues, but I have found that the more avenues I seek at once, the more complicated and elusive happiness becomes. I look back at my happiest times in life, save for my childhood, and realize that my happiest times was when I lived my life simply. It seems ironic because consumerism tells us that we need more and more things daily. Yet, during that time, my attention was focused on a few things that brought me great joy and peace. Namely, they were, waking up early in the morning to do yoga exercises and light meditation, writing a little daily, reading a little daily (on-line or books) and cooking wholesome, healthy food (vegetarian and seafood based). Of course, I also spend a little time with friends and loved ones, but we must first look for happiness within. Those are my particular affinities. Yours might be different. Yet, self discovery is the key.
Reflecting to Simpler Times in The Past
Look back and note times when you were truly happy. Try to not to associate these times with people at first, even though there are many who are happiest giving to others or spending time with others. It is important to look within first.
Find the Things that Drive You in Life
If this becomes difficult, try to make a list in your life of an arbitrary number personal things that you can’t live without that are not necessities. Make sure it is not too large of a number. An easy way to choose could be your birthday or simply keep it under 50 to make it easier. Additional items can be listed under a category called “optional”. Imagine that you are on a deserted Island, or that you are going on a trip for 3 months and are only allowed to carry a tiny knapsack for these items. The items should not be simple necessities, such as food and clothing, although those with excessive clothing like I used to have will need to pare down their clothes on another list (I will follow with an article on that subject soon). The items should be things that you need to thrive on and feel alive, and that you don’t have to second guess for a moment. For instance, my computer and poetry book were automatic in my list.
Streamline to Your Essential Joys
After you have made the list, look at the 5 or 10 items, and try to figure out why those items are must haves for you. This may be an easy process or some may be more elusive. For instance, and easy one would be someone who would bring musical instrument. Obviously, creating and playing music is very important to this person, and makes them happy. If someone brings cds, this might be a little harder. It may be that certain music energizes the person, or relaxes them. In this case, having energy or relaxing may be important to that person. Therefore, the object will not be as important as the effect produced. If you need assistance figuring out the meaning behind different things, I would gladly help you elicit them if you ask me.
Use Lists to Stay Focused on your Simpler Path
When you come to this analysis, write it down and keep it on your refrigerator or mirror, or anywhere that it is visible daily. The reason for this is to remind yourself daily or periodically what is important to you and makes you happy. It can also serve to not engage in behavior that you regret later. For instance, if you compulsively shop or go drinking, bring the list with you in your wallet. Look at it when the compulsive thought or urge occurs. Then take a deep breath and count to 10, then count backwards from 10, clearing your thoughts. Do something else afterwards that you enjoy, such get a glass of water or other healthy beverage that you like. Don’t wrestle with the thought too much, but let it go as if it is a bee passing by. If you stay still and not pay attention to it, it will not bite. This is a common method used in meditation and yoga that is quite effective in clearing thoughts, and is just as effective in clearing desires. It will be take a little practice, but you can do it.
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