One of my main goals in life is not success in terms of money or possessions because even when I earned more, I was still unhappy. I did not know it at the time, and thought that perhaps, it was the job itself or some difficult people with whom I worked. I made this conclusion with my many of my jobs. To my remorse, I realized many years later that it was not the job, but me. I was trying to get fulfillment out of what I was doing, rather than find fulfillment with being. I have never been enraptured with money or material possessions, and in the period of my life when I shopped a lot, it was to kill time, fill a hole or because I was trying to please others. So, since I knew that I did not undertake the jobs solely due to money, I could not figure out why I was depressed in a general sense and not happy doing work in a field I found interesting. I thought that perhaps my interest in the field had waned or that the field was too stressful for me. I thought that perhaps pursuing another interest would help, and tried two different fields, but I was left with the same discontent. In retrospect, some of the jobs were great jobs, and I met even greater people along the way. So, what I had to examine is what fulfillment and happiness meant to me.
What I eventually realized is that no interest or even noble goals, such as the goal of living a simpler life, achieving a graduate degree, contributing to the world and helping the environment, good goals as they are, are not enough to bring me peace, fulfillment and happiness. These goals and life pathways are simply conduits to help me achieve a more peaceful and content life. True maximization of my potential and peace for me, and I believe for many if not, all, can only be achieved through one goal: being and living a life that is in life with your authentic self in every way - in thoughts, in actions, in career, in family and social relationships and in the choices we make every day, including how we spend our time and consumer choices.
Even in our dealings with others, we must be authentic. This means not allowing people to continue to criticize, control or treat you in a manner that you are very uncomfortable with. At the end of the day, we are the only ones who can change how people treat us. We cannot be peaceful with others if we are not living authentically with them because resentment with build for ourselves or for them, and then there will be no growth.
So, aim to be a better, more authentic version of yourself and to live a more authentic life, not to gain money or title, because of fear of conflict or disapproval, but for yourself because only then can you achieve noble goals and make a difference in the world.
To understand who your authentic self truly is, please read this wonderful article by Dr. Phil.
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