‘There is joy in losing everything, in giving everything. You cannot be eternally happy by possessing things. That’s why we say, ‘Have vairagya, have dispassion, have non-attachment.’ By renouncing worldly things, you possess the most important sacred property: your peace.” (Sri Swami Satchidananda from his translation and commentary of The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali)
Letting go is not always easy. Sometimes there are more things to consider than just having a minimalist house for aesthetic and functional value and to feel freer in life. One thing that can complicate the decision is when we consider that while letting go will benefit us in some ways, it may also harm the environment or seem wasteful. Whether to use an item in a creative way as to not add to the landfill, thereby keeping new items or whether to donate, knowing that if a thrift shops deems it not sale-able and ends up throwing it out anyway is a struggle that I sometimes face. I have visited thrift shops that I donated items to, and I see some of my items and not others. This makes me wonder what happened to the items they did not find fit to sell? This has made me hold on to some items, particularly clothing because I can sew, and think to myself that I will remake it into something. The problem is that often times, it is a clothing in a color or fabric that is not flattering or that I have an allergic reaction to (polyester, wool), and frankly, I don't have the time to sew all these projects. Therefore, I will not end up using it, and it just stays in my home, making me feel guilty for wasting money and not being able to reuse the item. With cotton items, I always think to myself that I could make a bedspread, but I already have 2 sets of bedspreads, and I'm trying not to have excessive possessions, so do I really need another one? The answer is no, and neither do most of my friends or loved ones because let's face it, most of us have too much in this country. I have donated and even thrown out a lot of my possessions since I first started the journey of voluntary simplicity. I certainly don't have as much as others, but I don't think I can myself a minimalist as I used to feel I was. The guilt of holding on to these things that I can't use or that others can't use makes me so stressed and depressed, and has hampered my growth in voluntary simplicity at times because I have inertia in making a decision about these items.
I face this when it comes to books also because while my library consists is probably less than most (about 50 or 60 books), I look at all the books I am genuinely going to read, but that are also taking up a lot of space and looking cluttered in my small New York apartment. I got rid of many other books by taking some to the library, but many were not accepted to my surprise because libraries are full as well. I have also gotten digital copies of all the classics, for which copyrights have expired. However, I still have some very rare books that are no longer in print, such as spiritual books, that I can't seem to part with.
I know this is attachment to objects and against the yogic principle vairagya (non-attachment), and it bothers me further that these objects hinder my spiritual growth and makes me less free to live as mobile and unattached as I would like to. On the other hand though, sustainability is so important to me, and while I don't purchase new objects and clothing that often, knowing that I can't reuse and that I will have to throw away items that the thrift shop can't sell pains me also. It also pains me to see that I spent so much money in the past on items that I now have to discard, especially to throw away, when see people homeless and starving even in my daily life.
I do know that the guilt that comes with seeing money wasted in items you are not using and the visual clutter is literally making me depressed and anxious and holding me back from feeling more free and vibrant spiritually and emotionally. So, in some cases, I guess we have to choose to take care of our health first, well being and lifestyle first, then we can help the world. This article about the yogic principles of abyasa (pratice) and vairagya (non-attachment) helped me a great deal to come to this conclusion. Additionally, this article from dailydownwarddog.com about an experience in vairgya can make it easier to understand if the previous article is too theoretical. These principles state that to grow spiritually, we not only have to let go of physical objects, but also the aversions, fears and false identities that are clouding the true self. I do believe that my guilt at money wasted in the past and about harming the environment in the present/near future due to these past decisions come into this category. I am no longer an excessive consumer. I was only that way for a few years, and that concept proved false and un-fulfilling. We cannot go back and change our decisions or the past, but we can live more mindfully now and in the future with the choices we make daily. In letting go of items I cannot use and do not use, I am letting go of that false illusion that possessions can satisfy or fill a hole. In making sustainable and anti-consumerist choices now and in the future, I am applying abhyasa (practice), so that my actions are more in line with my authentic self. After I get rid of these unusable items, I also plan on challenging myself further regarding the remaining items because although I may use them all from time to time, how much do I actually NEED and what can I do without.
What do you think? How do you come to grips with the decision to be Sustainable vs Minimizing?
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